January 23, 2024

I want to STOP.... co sleeping, rocking to sleep..

I want to STOP.... co sleeping, rocking to sleep..

I really need to preface this blog with I am a genuine believer in if it's not a problem for you, it's not a problem.

However, everyone gets to a point where they what they are doing is no longer sustainable for them for a variety of reasons, and that threshold really does vary parent to parent.

Some parents can continue rocking, feeding, pating, or even co-sleeping well and truly into toddlerhood and some like me cap that threshold at six months and some much earlier than that.

Once you have made that decision that what you are doing is no longer sustainable, breathe... and let's look at the below on how we start this process. 


I have created an entire blog on the importance of creating a sleep conducive environment, the reason being when you have an environment that encourages sleep, your baby is more likely to fall asleep easier, sleep for longer and resettle much quicker.

The first place we start is creating this environment therefore I highly recommend you read my creating a sleep conducive environment blog here before moving to the next part of the plan. 

Set that scene for sleep!


Once you have created the environment, you want to have a look at how your baby is naturally sleeping. Do they have a cat napping schedule, do they have a much longer morning nap?

I'm a huge advocate for utilising how your baby is naturally sleeping now therefore if you find yourself in a catnapping cycle, my first recommendation would be to start on a short / long routine where you have a shorter nap in the morning, focus on a longer lunch nap where you only resettle once. 

Alternatively, if baby is on a longer morning nap you may like to consider something like a medium / medium style routine, where they have two naps of relatively equal length. 

You can see some examples of routines here otherwise you can find detailed routines in my sleep guides.

Establishing a routine is important in that a well rested baby will be more receptive to changes in how they fall asleep. Naturally, a tired baby may need more support to fall asleep just like a baby that is not ready for sleep will give you resistance.


Once you have put everything in place, now you pick the settling technique. Your choice of technique will come down to a few different factors that we take into consideration:

  • The age of your baby
  • Parenting style (what is your personal preference, do you wish to be in the room or are you happy with the out of room approach, are you happy with some crying, or would you prefer to minimise it?)
  • Your baby's temperament - what do they need? What do they respond best to. It's not uncommon for me to shift between settling techniques in response to how the baby responds therefore don't be deterred if the technique you selected doesn't work!
  • How are you settling your baby now? Are you feeding to sleep, co sleeping?

When I work with clients these are all the sort of things that I look at before making my recommendations, there is a variety of settling techniques and not all of them are suitable, some we can automatically rule out simply because of age or even the development of your baby.

An example would be that for a newborn you wouldn't use a toddler based technique that focuses on a more behavioural approach to sleep, just like you wouldn't use a newborn hands on settling technique on a toddler - neither one is suitable due to each childs' individual development.

The below are techniques that we work with here, and you can see based on age they change.

From personal experience I find babies that have very hands on techniques such as co sleeping or feeding to sleep tend to respond better to very hands on, or very hands off techniques.

Again this absolutely comes down to temperament and some do very well with gradual techniques too! Trial and error my friend.


You got this. It is not uncommon the first couple of days to have some resistance, you are changing the way your baby knows how to sleep.

What you DON'T want to see however is your sleep regressing, hourly wakes, complete nap refusal, very difficult resettles or absolutely no change. It may indicate that you need a tweak of your routine, or perhaps the settling technique isn't right.

In general, you can expect to see good changes within 2-3 days with the gradual / out of room approaches and sometimes longer with toddlers or techniques such as settling hierarchy.

For out of room approaches you can expect to see changes within 1-2 weeks., gradual approaches typically 2-3 and no cry based within 4-6 weeks.

Don't be disheartened if you do not see changes instantly, sleep takes time to regulate! 

If your baby's routine seem to be in line with our recommendations with sleep is still messy, we can help!

  • For small tweaks to routine, have a look at our Quick Chat - 15min  option
  • For parents struggling with several things such as catnapping, frequent night waking, early morning rising or things that simply no longer work, have a look at our Phone + One Week Support option.
  • Not sure what is right for you? Get on the phone to one of our experienced consultants with our FREE 15min Discovery Call